Music: In Your Eyes, Kylie Minogue
Mood: Cold
Drinks: None
Just arrived from comedy night on campus. Comedy Central and their comics. Obnoxious, crude and sometimes even a wee bit amusing.
Once logged onto the net, found out the teaser trailer for the next Potter film is out. Watched it, hoping anxiously for something akin to Alfonso Cuaron's masterpiece, 'Y Tu Mama Tambien'. Of course not. This is a children's movie. Still...
*whistles* Ron and Harry alone in the closet, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Aw, anyone remember 'Y Tu'? Ron and Harry and Hermoine in a three-way, seems like.
WOOO! I'm starting to love this new Harry Potter movie!
Only... the teaser trailer looked beautiful and I really wanted to justify my love, I really did. But honestly, 'double, double, toil and trouble?' One does not earn respect by simply nicking off Shakespeare's lines. Oh God, 'something wicked this way comes'? Overdone and SILLY. Why the Macbeth reference? Is the bushy-haired Git going to become Lady Macbeth, and cause Potter to seek power through nefarious means (including killing poor Weasley?)
But whatever. I found Snape in a lady's dress quite titillating.
Oh and Malfoy's hair. I... I...
He's over sixteen; I need to leave this country and emigrate. Now.
*coughs*
On to more abruptly condescending issues. 20 November is the Smoke Out day, and the day I'm quitting for good. Stupid smokes. I nearly crashed into a Jewish Ewan MacGregor after I chain-smoked three after another. The Fox was at the Comedy Central show too, but I didn't dare being a blip on his radar, on account of my hideousness today. Last time I had a proper bath: two days ago. I'm starting to smell like Da (smokes, coffee and body odour).
Had a mini-convo with Tara about Thanksgiving. It seems I will have the flat to meself. Ordinarily this would be of great rejoice, if it weren't for the fact that I am ALONE on that day - even if I do not necessarily celebrate the holiday. Finally owned up to the sad truth that I have no family. I could return to see Mam, but that would mean having to stay and bother with the Git and Pooty Squad. It's quite permanent, this rift. As far as everything goes, I have no siblings and only a mother. Until Da actually materialises for more than a few days AND takes an active interest in my life, maybe I'll consider an paternal addition.
No one is able to choose their family. A v. true fact. Can't one un-choose a family? Therapy hasn't help me cope with them, and I can't bloody live with them in my life... I suppose the best thing is to pretend they don't exist. Which they don't. And that leaves me with: no one. Friends are difficult to come by, especially with my personal demons. I was suppose to follow the roomie home, but that plan was scrapped at the last moment because she wanted to spend more time with her family. I understand, I honestly do. But that was my only chance at being present in a family gathering. If one doesn't have a family, find a substitute, yes?
I now know I can't use the roomie's family as my replacement relatives. Nor can I use any of my other roomies's families. Isn't that pitiful? I have no one else to turn to. Hopefully this state of homelessness will slowly dissipate as I age and meet others. As for now, I'm just going to play videogames on my baby Dreamcast and eat frozen turkey slices. Maybe even sleep twelve hours a day.
I can't help being what I am. One glance at my stony visage and you will correctly assume my composure to be frosty. While it is true I am always cold to the touch, I have been known to melt. All it takes is for someone with the patience and the warmth to bring me out of this frozen shell. I may freeze over as quickly as my heart of ice melts, but I will never purposely burn you for trying.