Listening to> 'Being Nobody' - Richard X v. Liberty X
Reading> 'Y: Descent of Man" target="_new">Y: The Descent of Man', Steve Jones - in progress
Working On> Making deep-fried nori rolls with shrimp and tofu
Film of the moment> 'Garden State'
Total waste of time. 'Garden State' was a subpar film that drowned in its own hype. I really did expect much more from Zach Braff.
On the other hand, had champagne last night. God, I love champagne! If anyone is feeling generous, please send a case of champagne over to me. It doesn't have to be Cristal, even Korbel will do!
Peter Saarsgard was good in 'Garden State' though. Wish 'Kinsey' was playing near the flat, because he and Liam Neeson are in it.
Anyhoo... v-day is over. Personally, I could do without, seeing as how the only one I'm interested in is an actor and that's sad as it is. But who cares... it's finished! No more worrying about receiving cards, or flowers.
Since I finally was able to speak to Sal, my best friend, I have been inspired to write again. But it's difficult as there are many mental obstacles I have to face. First of all, is the fear of not being read. Sal and I used to exchange short fics. The day she stopped reading and writing them, was the day I stopped writing. This is easily remedied, there are many sites that allow original fiction to be posted and commented upon. However, the characters and storylines that were written are unique to Sal and I. What I wrote was mostly to benefit the both of us. Which is always a mistake, because when one starts writing for another person's approval, the flow of writing stops.
Secondly, the meeting last year with Mike Reiss proved to be mentally daunting. Mike Reiss is a writer on the Simpsons show, and a firm believer in hard work. He told me that if writer claims 'writer's block', then that person should find another line of work. Sine then, I've been stricken with insecurities about my work. I've tried everything: pen and paper, brainstorming, charts, drinking and writing... Nothing. Even reading old entries doesn't help the matter. My very Diaryland journal entries are of a much better quality than the new ones, and I'm very aware of that.
Finally, I just cannot bring myself to face the problem head on. There are too many excuses: not enough time, not enough creativity, my inability to transform thoughts into words... Perhaps I'm just scared. Or lazy. I don't know.
I make the effort to try and find out what is blocking me, but I do not know HOW to solve it. Maybe there is no solution. Maybe there is something that needs to happen in order for me to be able to write like I used to.
Doesn't it seem that out of traumatic events the best prose appears? Hardship, terror, love - these are the muses of writers.
Till then, I'll continue writing. I'll even try to write a little fiction piece, just for practice in each entry. Anything to make me believe I can write again.